Wednesday, September 11, 2013

You're Too Young To Be Sick

Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning and I couldn't be more ready. Super nervous but I know this is the best plan to try and get me feeling better.

As invisible illness awareness week continues I am going to try and keep posting a little more each day about what it is like to live with an invisible illness so here we go! I am only 15 and I was sick when I was little but it wasn't anything major. I mean I just had lung problems and food allergies but it progressively got worse throughout elementary school and middle school. Tyler he was born extremely sick requiring surgery at thirty-six hours old. Sometimes I feel like I'm a teenage girl trapped inside of a 80 year old's body and let me tell you it is not fun at all. All you want to do everyday is lay in bed because you have no energy because it just hurts so bad. You feel like breaking down and crying because you can't do everything on your own anymore. You've lost your independence because you can no longer do tasks that were once so simple but now you are sick they are so hard to do. I have friends who are only in there 20s living in nursing homes.

Yet people always tell me "but you're too young to be sick" I know I am too young to be sick. I hate every minute of it. I want to be a normal teenager and deal with all the stuff that all the other girls my age have to deal with but I usually don't. I mean yes I do get to do a few of the things that all my friends do but I have extra challenges in my way, extra road blocks that stop me from doing what I want to do. I don't feel well enough to go out to enjoy a movie with my friends it always ends up feeling that way. I am thankful my illness doesn't stop me from doing what I want to do because I know it doesn't. I can do anything my friends can do. The only problem is that sometimes I am too sick to do those things.

As a parent you want to keep your kids away from any harm or danger. Anything that could hurt them all you want to do is keep them safe but what if you couldn't keep them from hurting? What if they were hurting so bad every single day? My body harms itself on its own. Going into surgery every single time that comes with it's own risks it never does get easier for a parent to say good bye to their child as the get wheeled off into the operating room.

Anyone can get sick it doesn't matter how old you are. There is childhood cancer and cancer in general.   The same goes for any disease. It sucks that kids have to go through it too. I'm sure you have seen how hard it is for an adult to go through their life being chronically ill. It's so hard to imagine being a kid and being sick. I could tell you it's basically hell. The weight is too much to bear at times. It's not fair for any child to have to deal with any disease. Kids can get sick sadly it's the truth! Chronic illnesses don't mess around and they will attack anyone they feel like it. Just remember that.

I'm having a bad night. Lots of new treatment options and discussions health wise and it's overwhelming. I just want to get home from the hospital all ready, please pray for me and all my friends. 

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