Allergies

I have an allergy -- well actually quite a few
It ruins my life
Cuz' I have one too many!

When I eat something I am allergic to
my lips start tingling. I feel quite odd!
My brain is jingling.

My chest is a concrete block.
I struggle to breathe
and wheeze with every breath.

There is a stone in my throat.
I cough and hack and sneeze...
Ah Choo!

I touch my face and get quite a fright.
My face is a puffer fish!
It's all puffy and bright.

My skin is itchy and red.
I have hives all over
from head to toe.

It's odd to know
that when I decide to eat these evil sweet treats,
it hurts very very deep.

I dream of a meal...
A meal with
no questions, no doubt, no worries, nor fear.

Can someone please help me?

Invisible Illnesses

"You can't see it, but I can feel it. You don't understand it, but I deal with it on a daily basis. You either think I'm lazy or you feel sorry for me, but I am stronger than you'll ever know. I fight every day. I don't want your sympathy. I just want to be treated with respect and I want to feel better. I've forgotten what that feels like."

The whole point of an invisible illness is that you can't see it that's the beauty of it all. I look just like you my insides just aren't like yours. Some people think well if you can't see things it isn't real but it is there and it is real. It is kinda like oxygen it is there but people just don't see it. Yet everyone says it is there because it is there. It is the same way with an invisible illness.

We have to fight every day whether it is to get out of bed, participate in normal activities, and push through the pain. It isn't that we are lazy trust me. I want to do everything that you can do in everyday life it is just that sometimes I can't because I'm not feeling well or it hurts too much. We have to be strong and push things aside just so we can function like you every day.

I don't want everyone to feel sorry for me because I am not sorry for myself. I tell people I have a rare disease and the number one reply is "I am sorry." It isn't their fault that I am sick. My Mom and Dad aren't angry. I'm not angry. No one is angry that I have an invisible illness. It just happens and it is not a single person's fault that this happened. Treat me the way you would want to feel if you were me. I am a normal kid. I just have a few extra things that I have to do and carry with me. Like I can't eat food, I have a feeding tube, I carry around an epi-pen and Benadryl everywhere I go in case of an allergic shock. It is those types of things that I have to do that most people don't. I could think of a hundred more things It does make me feel different from everyone else but I don't feel much different. I just don't eat.

I want to feel better! I would trade anything for one day without having to worry about being sick. I could get so much done it wouldn't be funny. I could eat-- Cake, ice cream, pizza, steak, and the list goes on and on.  The first time I got my feeding tube I started feeling normal. I told my Mom wow! This is what a normal person feels like! It's amazing! She just laughed but I was serious. Then I started getting sinus infections and headaches and I haven't gotten better since then. So now I have again forgotten what it is like to be normal. It takes a lot out of you being sick we can't be normal even though we try.

The quote up above. I think I found it online somewhere but there was no author behind the quote so I guess the person is anonymous.

Anyway, I have been doing okay. I'm feeling decent besides my headaches. My stomach has been hurting and I haven't eaten corn in 48 hours so I know it isn't the corn unless it is a delayed reaction. I've been so frustrated lately though. Just upset, worried, and sad about everything. I just want to eat, I want to do this and that and everything else but I can't. I'm okay even though I'm not okay. I just haven't worked all that out yet.

Summer Camp

I went to CCK on Saturday for camp for a week and I had an amazing time with no major medical issues. It was so much fun!! I made some amazing friends that will last a lifetime. Anyway now I am home and resting. I'm exhausted we spent every single waking minute doing something it was tiring. On Wednesday night on of the staff members made me an ICEE that was Michaela Safe. I loved it so much. It makes me happy when people actually care enough to take their time and do things for me. Nothing else to do now that I am home just a lot of time to rest. I feel too tired to do anything so I'll probably sit around on the TV all day catching up on my TV series. No major appointments are coming up. At least I don't think so... My birthday is in 13 days though! AHHH I'm so happy. If I really want to I can take my permit test but I'm not really interested in driving but I'll probably just do it anyway. Anyway, I am so happy to be home.

Loosing a Friend

I never thought one of my friends would die. I mean I know we are all sick but everyone has been doing okay or so I thought. A girl named Alex followed me on Instagram when I first got my feeding tube. I think it was because she also had a tube at the point. I followed back and we talked for a little bit. We continued to follow each other and talked a little more but soon that faded away and I found new people to talk to as well and she just carried on like normal. Alex had been sick in the hospital for about 2 weeks and yesterday in the early morning hours Alex left the world. She told everyone she was doing okay and not to worry about her but she wasn't. She was a great girl an amazing poet. Alex lost her battle with Cystic Fibrosis. Cystic Fibrosis is a lung-digestive disease. She always had a smile on her face no matter what she was going through and most people can't do that. Before you even know her story you would fall in love with her. It's hard to think about how she's gone and maybe we could have talked a little bit more but we didn't and that's okay. One day it could be me or anyone another one of my close friends who passes away because of their illness and it is kind of scary to think that way. Alex passing opened my eyes and some of my friend's lives. We all knew we were okay but are we really. Yes we are sick teens and we are doing okay but that's what we thought about Alex and she wasn't.  Please pray for me, Alex's family, and anyone else who was touched by Alex at one point or another. Her Instagram user name and motto is Every Breath Counts. I'm glad she made every breath count. Now she can breathe freely in Heaven. I'll see you again beautiful angel.

Surgery Has Been Moved

At first, we had surgery scheduled for the 22nd of May but we had to cancel because my End of Course test for English is on the same day!  They did however have a cancellation for May the 15th so we are taking that one. I have to miss a soccer tournament which is kind of upsetting. I was promised that I would be okay and well enough for confirmation 4 days later. Mom says I probably won't feel up to much though. So I'll be there for the service and go home more than likely. Anyway, that's the update for now.