Invisible Illnesses

"You can't see it, but I can feel it. You don't understand it, but I deal with it on a daily basis. You either think I'm lazy or you feel sorry for me, but I am stronger than you'll ever know. I fight every day. I don't want your sympathy. I just want to be treated with respect and I want to feel better. I've forgotten what that feels like."

The whole point of an invisible illness is that you can't see it that's the beauty of it all. I look just like you my insides just aren't like yours. Some people think well if you can't see things it isn't real but it is there and it is real. It is kinda like oxygen it is there but people just don't see it. Yet everyone says it is there because it is there. It is the same way with an invisible illness.

We have to fight every day whether it is to get out of bed, participate in normal activities, and push through the pain. It isn't that we are lazy trust me. I want to do everything that you can do in everyday life it is just that sometimes I can't because I'm not feeling well or it hurts too much. We have to be strong and push things aside just so we can function like you every day.

I don't want everyone to feel sorry for me because I am not sorry for myself. I tell people I have a rare disease and the number one reply is "I am sorry." It isn't their fault that I am sick. My Mom and Dad aren't angry. I'm not angry. No one is angry that I have an invisible illness. It just happens and it is not a single person's fault that this happened. Treat me the way you would want to feel if you were me. I am a normal kid. I just have a few extra things that I have to do and carry with me. Like I can't eat food, I have a feeding tube, I carry around an epi-pen and Benadryl everywhere I go in case of an allergic shock. It is those types of things that I have to do that most people don't. I could think of a hundred more things It does make me feel different from everyone else but I don't feel much different. I just don't eat.

I want to feel better! I would trade anything for one day without having to worry about being sick. I could get so much done it wouldn't be funny. I could eat-- Cake, ice cream, pizza, steak, and the list goes on and on.  The first time I got my feeding tube I started feeling normal. I told my Mom wow! This is what a normal person feels like! It's amazing! She just laughed but I was serious. Then I started getting sinus infections and headaches and I haven't gotten better since then. So now I have again forgotten what it is like to be normal. It takes a lot out of you being sick we can't be normal even though we try.

The quote up above. I think I found it online somewhere but there was no author behind the quote so I guess the person is anonymous.

Anyway, I have been doing okay. I'm feeling decent besides my headaches. My stomach has been hurting and I haven't eaten corn in 48 hours so I know it isn't the corn unless it is a delayed reaction. I've been so frustrated lately though. Just upset, worried, and sad about everything. I just want to eat, I want to do this and that and everything else but I can't. I'm okay even though I'm not okay. I just haven't worked all that out yet.

Summer Camp

I went to CCK on Saturday for camp for a week and I had an amazing time with no major medical issues. It was so much fun!! I made some amazing friends that will last a lifetime. Anyway now I am home and resting. I'm exhausted we spent every single waking minute doing something it was tiring. On Wednesday night on of the staff members made me an ICEE that was Michaela Safe. I loved it so much. It makes me happy when people actually care enough to take their time and do things for me. Nothing else to do now that I am home just a lot of time to rest. I feel too tired to do anything so I'll probably sit around on the TV all day catching up on my TV series. No major appointments are coming up. At least I don't think so... My birthday is in 13 days though! AHHH I'm so happy. If I really want to I can take my permit test but I'm not really interested in driving but I'll probably just do it anyway. Anyway, I am so happy to be home.