Independence

At fifteen years old most normal teenagers take care of themselves,  make meals, go to bed by themselves, shower by themselves, and manage their everyday needs however that isn't the case for me. My disease has taken away my ability to play sports, go to school every day like a "typical" teenager, to drive, to shower alone, to get dressed without help at times, to eat or drink, sometimes I am physically drained to where I can't even give myself my own medication, and to care for my daily needs. Most doctors and people don't realize that chronic illness is more than just being sick and feeling ill. It's the emotional aspect of the disease. How you manage and cope daily. Do you think you could have all of your independence taken away from you at once? How about losing your independence at fifteen and needing your mother to help you shower daily? All of this just ripped away from you at once...sometimes I think I'm handling it pretty well other times not so much. It is really hard I will tell you that. I always feel people forget I am only fifteen years old and trying to manage a "normal" life despite the conditions. You have nights where all you do is sit in your room and cry and cry and cry you don't stop, other times asking God why he chose you and just being angry at everyone because you aren't "normal" in a world that hates those who are different. I start the day the war begins another day where I have that constant reminder I can't do this or that because I am sick. At the moment I am not entirely happy with the situation I'm in. I don't think anyone would be happy if they were me either. However, this battle has only started and we have a long way to go to beat this! Maybe, my disease can stop me from doing all the things I want in my life but it can't stop me from doing the one thing I will always do. I will Never Lose Hope...and that is a guarantee.